Spoon Theory

,,,,,,,

<h1>Spoon Theory Sim</h1> Hello fellow gamer! Welcome to the brand new simulation game of Spoon Theory! For players who are unaware of Spoon Theory, it is a theory developed to explain a chronically ill person energy level. Each spoon represents a task, for example: Getting out of bed, eating, going to work, hanging out with friends, living life!(hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"!") [ Trying to keep the facade up.] However, for the chronically ill 1 spoon does not equal 1 task, as it might for someone more healthy. Now getting on to the game, you will simulate someone with a chronic illness. You only have 12 spoons to get through the day, end the day with at least 1 spoon and you win! The player only has to follow these three rules! 1. Don't let your character run out of spoons! 2. Take care of your character, feed them, wash them, make sure they are happy!(hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"!") [ The chronically ill are not a Tamagotchi, they are real people.] 3. Have fun!(hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"!") [ Suffer!] Let's get started! [[Time to make your character!->Choose Your Character]] </div> </body> </html>

There are two playable characters in Spoon Theory [[Healthy Person->No choice]] [[Chronically Ill Person ->Path of Acceptance]]

Sorry, that character is not captiable for this game!(hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"!!!!!") [ The chronically ill dont get a choice. Neither do you.] [[ Go back->Reality]]

There are two playable characters in Spoon Theory! <strike> Healthy</strike> [["Chronically Ill" ->Path of Denial]]

<h2>Brand New Day</h2> <img src= https://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/Acceptance%2013.jpg> [9:00AM] You wake up feeling crappy, but alive, and actually a little hungry for once. You stayed up later than usual to finish the big project, but your friend Jamie was a big help as she looked over your paper with a fine tooth comb. You felt a little guilty asking for her help, even tried telling her, but she just smiled and shook her head. "Anything to help you through this class." The assignment got submitted an hour before it was due, but it was in, and the two of you could relax. Your body hurts today, but you feel more determined, having a more productive attitude to take on the day. + 5 Happiness - Friendship (+1 Spoon) [9:15AM] You gave yourself some time to move, staring at the wall as you listened to your soft musical alarm going off beside you. It gets louder but still carry a more brisk charm then other alarms did. Slowly, you start to sit up, moving the pillows on your bed so you can sit up with some comfort. Pressing your back against it, you reach over to pick up your phone. Shaking it lightly to stop the alarm as you bring the dim screen up to your face. How will we start off this morning? 1. <strike>Shower(2 Spoons)</strike> (I should take my medication first) 2. <strike>Get dressed (1 Spoon) </strike> (I should take my medication first) 3. <strike>Eat (3 Spoons</strike> (I should take my medication first) [[ 4. Take Medication (1 Spoon) -> Medication]]

<h2>Brand New Day</h2> <img src=https://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/denial%2011.jpg> [9:00AM] You wake up feeling refreshed, staying up late to finish that last minute assignment you have been putting off for school. You know better than to procrastinate, yet, when you stare at the document, your mind turns blank. Staring for an hour or so, then eventually wandering to facebook. Then convince yourself maybe if you lay down for a nap it will ease you into it. Waking up hours later, to be fine.(hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:".") [You are never "fine".] You stare at the ceiling, wanting to move, but for some reason lacked the will too. + 5 Stress - Thoughts (-1 Spoon for your actions) [9:15AM] Your loud alarm keeps going off. You hated the sound of it, but you were often afraid of oversleeping. Shaking your head, you just sigh, reaching over for your phone, looking at the time and how you lost 15 minutes. 'You've always been a procrastinator' you think to yourself, aggravated, imagining yourself at your computer desk, zombied eyes forcing yourself to work even though it is already late. You still don't want to get up, feeling guilt swell inside of you as you continue to stare up. [9:20AM] 'As long as you get the deed done, what's a little stress and pushing yourself?' You reason with yourself. You sigh again, running behind schedule. Forcing yourself, you sit up, feeling (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"fine,") [exhuasted,] (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"rolling") [ pushing] your legs over the edge to feel the (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"soft") [dirty] carpet between your toes. Your fingers dig into the cotton sheet as your head gets a little fuzzy. "Bloodrush" you (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"whispered") [lied] to yourself. Keeping your cool, and slowly straightening up you look once more at the clock. Class doesn't start for over an hour and a half. How will you start off this morning? [[ 1. Take a shower -> Three Spoons - Denial Shower]] [[ 2. Get Dressed -> Two Spoon - Denial Dressed]] [[ 3. Eat -> Three Spoons - Denial Eat]] [[ 4. Cancel your plans and stay in bed -> Zero Spoons Bed]]

<img src= https://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/denial%208.jpg> [9:25AM] With much (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"strength") [pleading], you got out of your comfy bed to start the day. Maybe a hot shower will get you going, or a cold one to shake off the (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"grogginess") [depression]. You go to your linen closet to look for a towel, open the door to find there are none. You frown, realization dawned on you that you haven't done a load of towels in a (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"while") [weeks]. The thought of how much laundry is piled up, staring at you, stinking up the place(hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:".") [, judging you.] You are behind on so many things, there are not enough hours in the day(hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:".") [. You are so lazy.] Shaking your head, you go to the hamper you normally tried to avoid. You pick up a towel and lift it to your nose, it smelled clean enough. Not even looking at the time, you strip off your clothes and place the towel in the sink as you start up the water. (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"You didn't realize") [You have ignored], how tightly woven your muscles were until you got under the water. Your joints are feeling sore, feeling the weight of exhaustion slide off of you and into the water. After a few minutes, you look up at the soap, knowing you should put more effort into the shower. The water feels so good, and you just want to stand there and enjoy the temperature. Observing the bottles, you weigh your options. [[1. Wash hair -> One Spoon - Washed Hair]] [[2. Wash Body -> One Spoon - Washed Body]] [[3. Enjoy the water, then get out -> No Spoon - Guilty Shower]]

<img src= https://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/denial%209.jpg> [9:30AM] A shower would be too much of a hassle (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"you decided") [ you convinced yourself]. There were only a few classes today anyway, and it's not like any of your friends are in them. You can always take a shower after class. You scratch your skin lightly as you try to ignore the unsatisfied feeling of it. Stepping in front of your closet, you notice the abundance of hangers without clothing on them and the select few that actually carried something. I need to do laundry soon. the thought of it alone made you want to curl up into a ball on your bed. You looked across the room, at the eyesore that resided itself in the corner. It just kept getting bigger each day, it looked like a few loads but carried the weight of mountains. Can't do it today though (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:",looking away from it") [, you lied to yourself]. You select a t-shirt, and some jeans to wear today. Not having many options, as you strip out of your comfortable pj's to slip into normal clothing. You frowned at the t-shirt being tighter than the last time you wore it. Must have shrinked, (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"a simple shrug") [a simple lie]. A frustrated sigh from the jeans gripping you tightly along the waistline. Ignoring the uncomfortable feeling, and a tight, anxious feeling corsetting around your chest. Maybe I will pick up some new clothes after school. It has been a while. You try to cheer yourself up(hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:".") [, as if your credit card bill wasn't high enough.] Class isnt for another hour and a half. What will you do? <strike> 1. Eat </strike>(hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"(Ha)") [You barely fit those pants as it is] [[ 1. Cancel your plans and stay in bed -> Zero Spoons Bed]] [[ 2. Leave your house -> 5 Spoon Ending]]

<img src= https://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/denial%208.jpg> [9:30AM] Maybe a decent meal will wake me up , you were surprised to find yourself hungry. It was rare; it normally took you a couple of hours to want to eat something. Even then, it wasn't allowed to have a strong scent, if it did then it would ruin your whole appetite. Walking to your kitchen in your pj's, you open the fridge to discover its near emptiness beside some odds and ends pieces. Luckily, there was leftovers from the other night from your favorite restaurant. It looked like it would make a fine breakfast, even though there was no option of being picky at this point. It was either that or making something from scratch(hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:".") [So lazy and wasteful.] Throwing it in the microwave, you put the appropriate amount of time on the timer and wait as your dish slowly turns. Tapping your fingers on the counter lightly, you look back at the fridge. If I make lunch for today, it could save me some money on campus? You ponder, not really in a making mood, but maybe it would be for the best? What will you do? [[ 1. Just buy lunch on campus -> zero spoons, Eating finished]] 2. <strike>Make Meal</strike>(hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:".") [Maybe you could have, if you didn't mope in bed all day and actually went to the store.]

<img src = https://oi248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/Acceptance%208.jpg> [10:00AM] As you walk to your bathroom, you feel the morning exhaustion hit. You keep your positive attitude going but don't ignore your feelings. Your hair did feel a little greasy, and your body not so fresh. But today was your day, you felt the energy there, and you intend to keep it. I just need to be careful Entering through the door, you held a long gaze with your shower. You knew you should spend some time cleaning yourself, even felt a pang of guilt over it. Tomorrow is another day you think sadly to yourself, just looking at the shower made you want to crawl back into bed. Shaking your head, you do something else instead. Looking through the small drawers attached to the sink, you pull out deodorant, face wipes, leave in conditioner, and your favorite brand of moisturizer. As you face yourself in the mirror, you frown lightly at the unkept sight of yourself but shrug it off. It is something you have come to terms with, not happy with, but you take care of yourself day by day. Chipping away at the unhealthy habits you had to form to keep some sort of preservation of life. Washing your wash with the wipe, you get the excess dirt and any other remnants of sleepiness off your face. Looking a little better, you use it on your neck and the last of it on your arms. You feel more fresh, not 100%, but it was better than nothing. Tossing the dirty wipe aside, you apply deodorant to your underarms. Next, you spritz the leave-in conditioner into your hair, playing with it until your hair felt more alive, not the normally dull and flat. The last thing is the moisturizer; it made you feel soft and even carried a light scent that you could tolerate. You apply it to your neck, chest, shoulders, the exposed part of your body getting lightly lathered with the stuff until you felt better about yourself. Looking into the mirror again you see someone you recognize a little better. It's almost you before life got a little too out of hand. One day you think hopefully. [[ 1. Get Dressed (One Spoon) -> One Spoon - Acceptance Dressed and Ready]] [[ <strike>2. Cancel plans and stay home</strike> No. Not today.

<img src= https://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/Acceptance%2012.jpg> [9:35 AM] You know that getting out of bed will cost a spoon no matter what you do. Before you can do anything, it is critically important to take medication at the correct time. Missing a dose can sometimes make or break a day, but not today it won't. You feel positive about today, you are still in pain, but nothing that you aren't used to. It's dull rather than sharp, and that is just enough wiggle room you need. Reaching over to your nightstand, you open the drawer and pull out your medicine weekly container. It was still organized by some miracle, it was something you attempt to routinely do on Sunday nights before bedtime. It didn't always happen, but the weekly alarm that goes off always helps you to remember to do it. You empty out today day section, and started counting your pills to makes sure you have all of them accounted for. Reaching for the insulated water bottle that is always by your bed, you take your medication for the morning. You stuck out your tongue, the taste of the meds hitting the back of your throat. No matter how long you've been taking them you could never get used to the taste. Swallowing more water, you drink until you cant feel the aftertaste. [9:45AM] After taking your time, and getting the morning pills out of the way. You knew that you should get up to get something to eat, so the medication has something to absorb. You take it nice and easy to roll your legs off the bed, doing small exercises that were taught to you by one of your favorite nurses. How will we start off this morning? 1. <strike>Take a shower (2 Spoons) </strike> We should eat first 2. <strike>Get dressed (1 Spoon)</strike> We should eat first [[ 3. Eat (Up to 3 Spoons) ->Two Spoons - Acceptance Eat]]

<img src= https://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/denial%207.jpg> [???] Taking in a deep breath, you remembered how greasy and gross your hair felt against your pillow. You are making a big deal out of nothing. Just do it (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"You thought") [You punished] yourself. Reaching up for your favorite hair products, you start the process of washing your hair. Feeling the bubbles against your scalp is quite nice, it means that your hair will carry your favorite scent for the rest of the day. You may even get complimented on it today if you could ever force a brush through it. Doing the final rinse off, your hair feels better in your grasp. You wondered how much time had passed, did you even bring your phone in the bathroom to keep an eye on the time? Looking up, you contemplate if you can spend any more time in the shower. [[ 1. Wash Your Body -> One Spoon - Washed Hair & Washed Body]] [[ 2. Get out-> No Spoon - Half Shower - Hair Washed]]

<img src= https://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/denial%207.jpg> [???] Taking in a deep breath, you remembered how gross, and dry your skin felt against the sheets. You are making a big deal out of nothing. Just do it (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"You thought") [You punished] yourself. Reaching for your favorite body products, you start the process of washing your skin. Feeling the bubbles is quite nice, imagining yourself fresher, and almost comfortable in your skin should cheer you up. You may even feel more confident today if you played your cards right. Doing the final rinse off, you feel a weight come off of you. You wondered how much time had passed, did you even bring your phone in the bathroom to keep an eye on the time? What should you do? [[ 1. Wash Your Hair -> One Spoon - Washed Body & Washed Hair]] [[ 2. Get out-> No Spoon - Half Shower - Body Washed]]

<img src= https://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/denial%208.jpg> [???] Taking in a deep breath, you remembered how gross you felt laying in bed. Your hair greasy, and your skin feeling tight and dry. Then you remembered that you were spacing out again as you do in front of the desk. Just standing in the shower and running the watering bill up(hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:".") [, like an idiot.] You are making a big deal out of nothing. Just get out of the shower, you'll get to it tonight. You (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"thought") [lied] to yourself. You knew you had to get out, but you (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"bargained") [pleaded] with yourself for five more hypothetical minutes. Just letting the water run over you, feeling a small comfort from it that you didn't want to let go of. A small sigh now, you turn the knobs so the water would stop. The bathroom was lightly steamed, but not as comforting as the water was. You knew as soon as you stepped out that door the cold would get you. You'd probably be tempted to get under the covers to warm up some more(hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:".") [. Probably fall asleep as well and miss class... again!] As you grabbed the towel from the sink to dry yourself off; your eyes stopped on your toothbrush. The bristols probably stale and dried, just imagining putting it in your mouth with the toothpaste almost felt like a chore. What should you do? 1. <strike>Brush your teeth </strike> (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:".") [You didn't so anything else, why start now?] [[ 2. Get Dressed -> Tomorrow is another day]]

<img src= https://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/denial%206.jpg> [???] You had put this much effort into yourself now, why quit halfway? Just remembering how greasy and gross your hair felt against your pillow, almost made your skin crawl. Reaching up for your favorite hair products, you start the process of washing your hair. Feeling the bubbles seep into your scalp. It was quite nice; it meant today your hair would have one of your favorite smells. You may even get complimented on it today if you could ever force a brush through it, or style it. Doing the final rinse off, your hair feels better in your grasp. It felt like too much time had passed, or was it just your (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"imagination?") [anxiety?] You knew you had to get out, but you (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"bargained") [pleaded] with yourself for five more hypothetical minutes. Just letting the water run over you, feeling a small comfort from it that you didn't want to let go of. [???] A small sigh now, you turn the knobs so the water would stop. The bathroom was lightly steamed, but not as comforting as the water was. You knew as soon as you stepped out that door the cold would get you. You'd probably be tempted to get under the covers to warm up some more(hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:".") [. Then fall asleep like an idiot.] As you grabbed the towel from the sink to dry yourself off; your eyes stopped on your toothbrush. The bristols probably stale and dried, just imagining putting it in your mouth with the toothpaste almost felt like a chore. [[ 1. Brush your teeth -> Tomorrow is another day]] [[ 2. Get Dressed -> Tomorrow is another day]] [[ 3. Eat -> Tomorrow is another day]]

<img src= https://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/denial%207.jpg> [???] Taking in a deep breath, you remembered how gross you felt laying in bed. Just remembering how your dry, tight, gross skin felt against the sheets made your skin want to crawl. But you just kept staring at the bottle, wanting to move but feeling pulled by the water to stand still. It occured to you after a few minutes that you were spacing out again, like you do infront of the desk. Just standing in the shower and running the watering bill up(hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:".") [, like an idiot.] You are making a big deal our of nothing. You got half of it done, you'll get the rest done tonight. you (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"thought") [lied] to yourself. You knew you had to get out, but you (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"bargained") [pleaded] with yourself for five more hypothetical minutes. Just letting the water run over you, feeling a small comfort from it that you didn't want to let go of. [???] A small sigh now, you turn the knobs so the water would stop. The bathroom was lightly steamed, but not as comforting as the water was. You knew as soon as you stepped out that door the cold would get you. You'd probably be tempted to get under the covers to warm up some more(hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:".") [. Probably fall asleep as well and miss class... again!] As you grabbed the towel from the sink to dry yourself off; your eyes stopped on your toothbrush. The bristols probably stale and dried, just imagining putting it in your mouth with the toothpaste almost felt like a chore. [[ 1. Brush your teeth ->Two Spoon - Half Shower 1]] [[ 2. Get Dressed -> Tomorrow is another day]] [[ 3. Eat -> Tomorrow is another day]]

<img src = 'https://oi248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/bed-731162_640.jpg'> *Game Over* It's okay. We all have those days. Crawling into bed is not the worst thing in the world to do; in fact, some days it can be the best action to just let your body and mind rest. Mental health days can be just as important as doctor visits. The problem develops where there are too many that impact your life. It is also good to reach out for help, medical, or psychological. To be aware of your health, to count your spoons, to get the proper care. Here are your options now: [[Challenge yourself and try again? ->Spoon Theory ]] [[More information about Spoon Theory? ->Learn More]] [[ To learn more about the piece (How to read) ->How to Read]]

<img src= https://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/denial%206.jpg> [???] You had put this much effort into yourself now, why quit halfway? Just remembering how your dry, tight, gross skin felt against the sheets made your skin want to crawl. Reaching for your favorite body products, you start the process of washing your skin. Feeling the bubbles is quite nice, imagining yourself fresher, and almost comfortable in your skin should cheer you up. You may even feel more confident today if you played your cards right. Doing the final rinse off, you felt a weight come off of you. It felt like too much time had passed, or was it just your (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"imagination?") [anxiety?] You knew you had to get out, but you (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"bargained") [pleaded] with yourself for five more hypothetical minutes. Just letting the water run over you, feeling a small comfort from it that you didn't want to let go of. [???] A small sigh now, you turn the knobs so the water would stop. The bathroom was lightly steamed, but not as comforting as the water was. You knew as soon as you stepped out that door the cold would get you. You'd probably be tempted to get under the covers to warm up some more(hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:".") [. Probably fall asleep as well and miss class... again!] As you grabbed the towel from the sink to dry yourself off; your eyes stopped on your toothbrush. The bristols probably stale and dried, just imagining putting it in your mouth with the toothpaste almost felt like a chore. [[ 1. Brush your teeth -> Tomorrow is another day]] [[ 2. Get Dressed -> Tomorrow is another day]] [[ 3. Eat -> Tomorrow is another day]]

<img src= https://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/denial%207.jpg> [???] Taking in a deep breath, you remembered how gross you felt laying in bed. Just remembering how greasy and gross your hair felt against your pillow, almost made your skin crawl. But you just kept staring at the bottle, wanting to move but feeling pulled by the water to stand still. It occurred to you after a few minutes that you were spacing out again like you always do in front of the desk. Just standing in the shower and running the watering bill up(hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:".") [, like an idiot.] You are making a big deal out of nothing. You got half of it done, you'll get the rest done tonight. you (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"thought") [lied] to yourself. You knew you had to get out, but you (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"bargained") [pleaded] with yourself for five more hypothetical minutes. Just letting the water run over you, feeling a small comfort from it that you didn't want to let go of. [???] A small sigh now, you turn the knobs so the water would stop. The bathroom was lightly steamed, but not as comforting as the water was. You knew as soon as you stepped out that door the cold would get you. You'd probably be tempted to get under the covers to warm up some more(hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:".") [. Probably fall asleep as well and miss class... again!] As you grabbed the towel from the sink to dry yourself off; your eyes stopped on your toothbrush. The bristols probably stale and dried, just imagining putting it in your mouth with the toothpaste almost felt like a chore. [[ 1. Brush your teeth ->Two Spoon - Half Shower Body Washed 1]] [[ 2. Get Dressed -> Tomorrow is another day]] [[ 3. Eat -> Tomorrow is another day]]

<img src= https://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/denial%206.jpg> [???] With your half found confidence from your favorite scent carrying in the air, you decide why not put a little more effort into yourself? It would make it fewer things you would have to do tonight. Wrapping the towel around yourself, you bravely, but cautiously approach the toothbrush. Turning on the faucet, you run water over the bristols to loosen them up some. You grabbed the toothpaste bottle, a brand that you tolerated the taste of and started brushing. Just think, your hair will look nice, your breath won't carry an odd odor, you may even feel human for once. Sure, you didn't complete all of your tasks, but what's the harm in it? A little push to make yourself presentable isn't a bad thing to do every once in a while. [???] After a few minutes of brushing, spitting, and rinsing, you feel alive again. Yeah, okay, you admit now that you are feeling tired, and still a little sore. All that is needed are days like this where you just push yourself to make it worth your while. Everybody had their off days; there's no reason to panic; just go with the flow, and everything will be all right one day. You smile, excitement bubbling up in your chest as you look up at your steamed reflection in the mirror. For the first time in a while, you want to actually see your face. Either from your favorite scent in the air or this newfound energy, you wanted to have a grand reveal. "Let's see the new you," your voice almost unrecognizable now as it carried an upbeat tune. Unable to wait, you take the edge of the towel and quickly lean forward to wipe away most of the steam from the surface. It took some finagling, as it had to be wiped a couple of times to get rid of some towel fuzz and serious streaking. You pull back, your eyes searching in the mirror. You frown. Heavy bags weighted the eyes down, the dull eyes following everywhere you looked as you couldn't recognize this stranger. Their skin was breaking out, as red and black dots scattered across in unorganized patterns. Their dry skin cracked around their now fallen smile, unkept, as well as unwanted facial hair in areas that didn't belong. You try to look away from their eyes, but keep meeting with theirs as your heart sank for them from how exhausted, and sorrowful they looked. Who is this stranger? you think, as you meet there glance once more. "Oh," you whisper, watching the reflection move their lips at the same time. It's me {(live: 0.2s)[ (either: "I can't go out like this.", "I'm disgusting", "I'm useless", "I'm pathetic", "What is wrong with me?", "I just want this to stop", "Please, let this stop", "I can't keep doing this", "Should I keep doing this?", "I'm so weak", "Nobody will understand", "This was all for nothing", "I hate myself", "Maybe this is what I deserve." ,"I'm so tired", "I'm trying so hard, but it's not enough", "I dont know how long I can keep this up", "help", "Is this even worth my time?", "I want to fall into a coma", "I want to die.", "I'm not even a person anymore.", "All I am is stress and sadness", "i fear that if i don’t die now it will be too late", "I just don’t get the point anymore", "I'm so alone", "There is no fixing this", "Why am I even like this?", "I have no reason to be like this?", "There are people in worse situations then mine", "I'm so fucking done", "I quit")]} A thousand thoughts swirl in your head all at once, dark thoughts, but one stands out among them all. It was all for nothing <strike> 1. Get dressed</strike> <strike> 2. Eat </strike> [[ Go to Bed -> Zero Spoons Bed]]

<img src= https://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/denial%206.jpg> [???] With your half found confidence from your favorite scent carrying in the air, you decide why not put a little more effort into yourself? It would be less then what you would have to do tonight. Wrapping the towel around yourself, you bravely, but cautiously approach the toothbrush. Turning on the faucet, you run water over the bristols to loosen them up some. You grabbed the toothpaste bottle, a brand that you tolerated the taste of and started brushing. Just think, your hair will look nice, your breath won't carry an odd odor. You didn't complete all of your tasks, but what's the harm in it? A little push to make yourself presentable isn't a bad thing to do every once in a while. [???] After a few minutes of brushing, spitting, and rinsing, you feel alive again. Yeah, okay, you admit now that you are feeling tired, and still a little sore. All that is needed are days like this where you just push yourself to make it worth your while. Everybody had their off days, there's no reason to panic; just go with the flow, and everything will be all right one day. You smile, excitement bubbling up in your chest as you look up at your steamed reflection in the mirror. For the first time in a while, you want to actually see your face. Either from your favorite scent in the air or this newfound energy, you wanted to have a grand reveal. "Let's see the new you," your voice almost unrecognizable now as it carried an upbeat tune. Unable to wait, you take the edge of the towel and quickly lean forward to wipe away most of the steam from the surface. It took some finagling, as it had to be wiped a couple of times to get rid of some towel fuzz and serious streaking. You pull back, your eyes searching in the mirror. You frown. Heavy bags weighted the eyes down, the dull eyes following everywhere you looked as you couldn't recognize this stranger. Their skin was breaking out, as red and black dots scattered across in unorganized patterns. Their dry skin cracked around their now fallen smile, unkept, as well as unwanted facial hair in areas that didn't belong. You try to look away from their eyes, but keep meeting with theirs as your heart sank for them from how exhausted, and sorrowful they looked. Who is this stranger? you think, as you meet there glance once more. "Oh," you whisper, watching the reflection move their lips at the same time. It's me {(live: 0.2s)[ (either: "I can't go out like this.", "I'm disgusting", "I'm useless", "I'm pathetic", "What is wrong with me?", "I just want this to stop", "Please, let this stop", "I can't keep doing this", "Should I keep doing this?", "I'm so weak", "Nobody will understand", "This was all for nothing", "I hate myself", "Maybe this is what I deserve." ,"I'm so tired", "I'm trying so hard, but it's not enough", "I dont know how long I can keep this up", "help", "Is this even worth my time?", "I want to fall into a coma", "I want to die.", "I'm not even a person anymore.", "All I am is stress and sadness", "i fear that if i don’t die now it will be too late", "I just don’t get the point anymore", "I'm so alone", "There is no fixing this", "Why am I even like this?", "I have no reason to be like this?", "There are people in worse situations then mine", "I'm so fucking done", "I quit")]} A thousand thoughts swirl in your head all at once, dark thoughts, but one stands out among them all. It was all for nothing <strike> 1. Get dressed</strike> <strike> 2. Eat </strike> [[ Go to Bed -> Zero Spoons Bed]]

<img src= https://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/denial%208.jpg> [9:32AM] Again, too much effort. you reminded yourself(hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:".") [.When will you get tired of lying?] Ordering lunch on campus was not that expensive. You desperately needed to go to the grocery store soon anyway, ordering take out was the most cost draining expense. The thought left your mind as soon as the microwave beeped at you that the food was done. Opening it up, and taking the food out, you pulled out your phone and went to go sit at the table. [9:45AM] You finished your food; it was filling enough as you didn't leave enough to put it back in the fridge. Taking your plate to the kitchen, you stack it on top of the other dirty dishes awaiting you to clean them. Ignoring it, you turn away from it. Contemplating what you should do next with the time you have left. [[ 1. Get Dressed ->One Spoon - Denial Dressed, fed, no lunch]] [[ 2. Cancel your plans and stay in bed -> Zero Spoons Bed]]

<img src= https://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/denial%206.jpg> [9:50] A shower would be too much of a hassle (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"you decided") [ you convinced yourself]. There was only few classes today anyway, and it's not like any of your friends are in them. You can always take a shower after class. You scratch your skin lightly as you try to ignore the unsatisfied feeling of it. Leaving the kitchen, you walk back to your room. Feeling the discomfort in each step, feeling drained from just walking around your own place. Stepping in front of your closet, you notice the abundance of hangers without clothing on them and the select few that actually carried something. I need to do laundry soon. the thought of it alone made you want to curl up into a ball on your bed. You looked across the room, at the eyesore that resided itself in the corner. It just kept getting bigger each day, it looked like a few loads but carried the weight of mountains. Can't do it today though (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:",looking away from it") [, you lied to yourself]. [9:55] You select a t-shirt, and some jeans to wear today. Not having many options, as you strip out of your comfortable pj's to slip into normal clothing. You frowned at the t-shirt being tighter than the last time you wore it. Must have srinked, (hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"a simple shrug") [a simple lie]). A frustrated sigh from the jeans gripping you tightly along the waistline. Ignoring the uncomfortable feeling, and a tight, anxious feeling corsetting around your chest. Maybe I will pick up some new clothes after school. It has been a while. you try to cheer yourself up(hover-style:(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:".") [, as if your credit card bill wasn't high enough.] Class isn't for another hour and a half. What will you do? [[ 1. Cancel your plans and stay in bed -> Zero Spoons Bed]] [[ 2. Leave your house -> 5 Spoon Ending]]

<img src= https://oi248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/DENIAL%20OUT%20OF%20SPOONS.jpg> *Game over!* *You do not have enough spoons to leave your house* If this were just a game. But in real life when you run out of spoons, there is no starting the day over. Instead, the alternative is: Hospitalization Staying in bed Several hours of sleeping And much more "It's hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to...It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count “spoons”. [[Challenge yourself and try again? ->Spoon Theory ]] [[More information about Spoon Theory? ->Learn More]] [[ To learn more about the piece (How to read) ->How to Read]]

<img src=https://oi248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/denial%205.jpg> *Congratulations, You win!* This is the only ending where you can leave the house with 5 spoons! But at what cost? You didn't shower? Brush your teeth? What about eating? You started with twelve spoons, and are leaving with five? How will you survive the rest of the day? The character you just played is inspired by the many people who are undiagnosed with chronic illness, not by choice but because they haven't been able to find the right doctor with the right answer. Or a person in denial about their health circumstances, but gets up every day not realizing the effect their choices make on their body. Or a chronically ill person who is just having a bad day. So the next time some one says they are sick, or are not feeling well, remember the spoons! This is the best ending you could have gotten with this character. Chronic illness in real life is not a game, and can have serious consequwnces if undiagnosed, or left unattended. [[ To restart the game and explore the other character ->Spoon Theory ]] [[ To learn more about Spoon Theory ->Learn More]] [[ To learn more about the piece (How to read) ->How to Read]]

<img src= 'https://oi248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/Acceptance%207.jpg'> [10:20 AM] You didn't have a class for another hour, but it's been a long time since you didn't have to rush out the door in a blind hurry. It was nice having the spoons to slightly take care of yourself this morning, especially when it was hard just to complete the bare minimum. The laundry was still piled up, but you remembered before bed last night to do a small load of some of your favorite clothing. You go to the dryer and find one of your favorite outfits waiting for you. Tapping some of the buttons, you let it run for about five more minutes so the clothes would be nice and toasty when putting them on. Staring at the circular motion of the cloth being tossed around, you ponder all that you could do today with this new found energy. {(live: 0.3s)[ (either: "I could go to the grocery store.", "Hang out with some of my friends?", "Go see a movie", "Visit my family", "Catch up on some assignments", "Go to my favorite store", "Maybe eat at a new restaurant", "Pretend to be normal", "Go to the mall", "Do the dishes?", "Maybe clean my room after class?", "Get some adult stuff out of the way", "Catch up on my favorite shows", "Enjoy one of my hobbies", "Treat myself.", "Catch up on any late bills")]} The possibilities were almost endless, well, not entirely endless. Throughout the list you would be lucky enough to accomplish maybe a few little things, and or one or two big items. However, that was for future-self to worry about, for now, you can decide after class. A miracle enough that I am going to be early, let alone there. The dryer beeped, and you stripped out of your pj's and quickly put the warm clothing on. You smiled; it almost felt like a warm hug. Putting the dirty clothing aside into the overfilled bin, you headed for your front door where you were greeted by your backpack. Grabbing it, you look towards the door almost hesitantly. Today is your day You reminded yourself. [[Leave, and try to concur the day -> Happy Ending]]

<img src = https://oi248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/You%20won.jpg > [You won the game!] But honestly did you? You are leaving the house with only 6 spoons, half of the morning spent more than half of your supply. The character you have chosen was inspired by someone with a chronic illness for years and fully embraced the Spoon Theory to better understand and explain their circumstances. The morning previously described, is a perfect scenario. The stars align, a magical unicorn blesses the day, the weather is just the right temperature, and maybe a few fairies stopped in the night before and gifted this character with magical dust. But even with the good day, there was no freedom, only a limited amount of choices in a specific order. Counting spoons, and doing the bare minimum to survive the day. But that was a character, and chronic illness is no game. You can try again, there is another character waiting for you after all, or you could learn more about Spoon Theory, and more about this project. [[Challenge yourself and try again? ->Spoon Theory ]] [[More information about Spoon Theory? ->Learn More]] [[ To learn more about the piece (How to read) ->How to Read]]

(hover-style:(text-color:cyan) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"The lake") [The still, cold lake.] A categorical catastrophe! (replace: "cat")[**dog**] Hover |hover>[Hover here] |message>[Hover] |workarea>[(display: "Hover Logic")] [Fie and fuggaboo!]<shout| (click: ?shout)[Blast and damnation!] The sprial of thought: https://twinery.org/wiki/harlowe:live (hover-style:(text-color:red) + (text-style:'italic'))+(link:"The lake") [The still, cold lake.]

<img src = https://oi248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/Acceptance%2010.jpg> [9:50 AM] You get up slowly, making sure you don't get blood rush or dizzy while standing up. Grabbing your water bottle, you took your time to the kitchen. You can't eat anything with a smell, definitely not in the morning if you don't want to be nauseous all day. In the cupboard, you grab a morning snack, something pre-wrapped, healthy-ish, and take small bites to see how your stomach feels. After a few minutes, and nothing seeming to be off, you take bigger bites. Smiling lightly at the luck, that never happens, normally something goes wrong by now.(text-color:grey) + (text-style:'italic') [The day is young] a small voice in the back of your mind reminded. Shut up. Your thoughts are going wild again as you shove the negativity aside. Today is my day Once finished, you throw the wrapper away and take a swig of your water. Still a little hungry but didn’t want to push yourself, you carried similar snacks in your bookbag in case you felt up for eating later. That and if you cooked, it would use up more spoons then you could handle. Checking the time on the microwave, you still had plenty of time before class. Guess it’s time to get ready How shall we continue the morning? [[1. Take a shower (Up to Two Spoons)-> Two Spoons - Acceptance Shower Choice]] 2. <strike>Get Dressed (One Spoon)</strike> - I'm having a good day, let's tend to my hygienic needs

How to Read (warning spoilers!): How many Characters are there, and what do they represent? There are two; one is kind of sneakily hidden. When you are first brought to the character menu, and given the healthy along with the chronically ill. If you select healthy first, you are taken down a different path, even when the game tells you that you must click "Chronically Ill" a second time. That's why it is in quotations, giving a hint that it is a new character. I did it this way because that character is influenced by those in denial of their health, picking healthy in 'Spoon Theory' sim is like you deny the chronic illness. It was a small little way to divide the characters up. That being said, just because the character is influenced by someone denying their health, does not mean that someone who is aware of their health can't have similar days. This character is supposed to represent a bad day with a chronic illness, days where it is impossible to leave the house being fully healthy. A day where even if you know what Spoon Theory is, it is impossible to count your spoons or know ahead of time how much action will cost you. You have to take short cuts, decide if you want to eat, or take a shower, or skip both together. It represents the hard choices that have to be made on a daily bases for people with a chronic illness, with or without the denial. To get to the second character, you just click on the first menu Chronically Ill. It symbolizes that even in this simulator, you acknowledge the chronic illness, you are aware of how many spoons you have and what each action costs. This character even tells you how many spoons it takes to do something, or up to how much it can. They are aware of their bodies limits, aware that they have more energy than normal, and are also aware of how quickly it could fade. This character was given a good day, but even with the extra energy, they had to follow a strict path. There were no alternate endings, no diversions, no choice in the matter. It represents that even on a good day there is still spoon counting, there is a limited amount of what someone with a chronic illness can do. Why Spoon Theory? Spoon theory may not be perfect, or exact, but it is a method to help people understand chronic illness. It is an invisible disease, it can often be brushed off as someone faking it, or they get told to "Just ignore the pain," "Suck it up," "You don't look that sick." Not all days are like this, for either character, but it's the representation that is the point. Even if you count all your spoons, know your bodies limit, there is no telling what the next day will hold for you. This was a perfect balance twelve spoon character, not every day you wake up with the same number. But Spoon Theory gives those with chronic illness a voice, to be able to explain their energy level. It gives them relief that it's not all just in their minds, that you have low energy for a reason . It gives those a chance to try to live as normal of a life they can while being realistic. How did you do the math for the spoons = this action? First off I suck at math, and secondly, I used a direct chart from the creator of Spoon Theory by Christine Miserandino <img src = 'https://oi248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/spoons-theory-sad-runner-infographic.png'> It is a rough guestimate that she created; it gives everybody an idea of how much a certain action big and small during a day to day basis can be spent. Why I built this game? <img src = 'https://oi248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/29598088_10108087906273472_5295459334718629037_n.jpg'> This game is dedicated to my older sister Melissa. She has been suffering from a very rare chronic illness called Intracranial hypertension (IH)for almost seven years now. To summarize her disease, her body cannot process her spinal fluid; that fluid builds up against her brain and eyes. In result, she has had a headache for seven years; it never stops, but the pain levels just going up and down. Without her medication, hospitalization and a spinal tap every six months, she would go blind. There is no cure because of its rarity. On the surface though, she looks normal, the only thing that would make her look odd would be the fact she wears sunglasses twenty-fours a day. The Spoon Theory gave her comfort, and a sense of community as she knows she is not alone in this fight. I myself have suffered from depression, and have also taken comfort in knowing how to count my spoons. We help each other every day; together we make one slightly functioning adult. Multiple times she has been told that she "doesn't look sick," or that "she is not sick enough" to have any major specialist to examine her. Having a community that knows her pain, and goes through the same thing has brought her much comfort over the years, giving her reasons to live on through the pain. She is strong, one of the strongest people I know. She never lets her disease stop her from being a sister, or a mother. It may affect her, and we all help each other out, but on some days I know she spends more spoons to help us than to help herself. I know there are others out there, like her, as I have read their stories and met some of them. Every single person with a chronic illness has a life, their own story to tell, and yet a majority of people in our society today still have a negative outlook on the 'invisible disease.' That's why I built this game, for her, and to spread awareness. To end the stigma against the chronically ill, and for it to be taken seriously. Simulating as a person with chronic illness, getting frustrated at the multiple bad endings, and not satisfied at the good ones. That is a day in the life of the chronically ill; the more people start to open their minds and see past the physical appearance the better.

<img src = 'https://oi248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bite_me95/Spoon%20Theory%20Project/Chronic%20Illness%20Cat.jpg'> (This is Chronic Illness Cat, a popular meme among Spoonies.) "I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted." - Christine Miserandino For more information about spoon theory from the creator visit: (link: "Butyoudontlooksick.com")[(goto-url: 'https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/')] Christine Miserandino explains her story, and how she developed Spoon Theory. For data and statistics on chronic illness visit: (link: "Centers for Disease Control")[(goto-url: 'https://www.cdc.gov/chronicdisease/resources/infographic/chronic-diseases.htm')] (link: "National Institutes of Health")[(goto-url: 'https://www.nih.gov/about-nih/what-we-do/nih-turning-discovery-into-health/chronic-diseases')] If you would like to join the Spoonie community, and learn more, or share your own expereinces. Here are some verified accounts to follow. Facebook: (link: "Surviving Chronic Pain")[(goto-url: 'https://www.facebook.com/SurvivingChronicPain/')] (link: "Chronic Illness Cat")[(goto-url: 'https://www.facebook.com/ChronicIllnessCat/')] (link: "Chronic Illness on The Mighty")[(goto-url: 'https://www.facebook.com/ChronicIllnessOnThemighty/')] Tumblr (link: "SpoonieStrong")[(goto-url: 'http://spooniestrong.tumblr.com')] (link: "The-Spoonie-Life")[(goto-url: 'http://the-spoonie-life.tumblr.com')] (link: "Awkward Spondy")[(goto-url: 'http://awkwardspondy.tumblr.com')] (link: "Positivity-In-Pain")[(goto-url: 'http://positivity-in-pain.tumblr.com')] (link: "The Spoon Theory")[(goto-url: 'http://thespoontheory.tumblr.com')]